How to prevent unwanted thoughts?
You cannot prevent unwanted thoughts; you can only tackle them.
I consider myself a good human being, with some days being an absolute treat and others when I am not someone you would want to meet.
We try to control many things in our lives and might be successful to some extent.
But suddenly something happens that is out of your control. You feel something such as jealousy, envy, anger, etc.—something you are not proud of.
But do you know what is more tormenting than the actual feeling? The guilt that rushes in afterward. How could I even experience this?
Let me tell you, I have been there multiple times. I have felt jealous of my best friends, questioning how I could even feel like this if I claim them to be my friends. I'm sure it is not just me; it has happened at least once with all of us in this life.
As you are fighting your way through the guilt, you have to understand that, at the end of the day, we are all human beings, and emotions are complex.
Such feelings can arise due to different reasons, such as circumstantial reasons. You might be pinning your hopes on something, and then you see your friend getting or having it. The feeling of envy runs down your spine.
Or you are wounded or hurt, and someone not showing kindness to you in your time of need can make you resent them in the moment.
The feeling or moment may pass, but what is left behind is a huge question mark on how you can even feel like that!
That torments you the most and for days!
I am the one person who likes to live freely, without any guilt. Either I don’t have guilt, or I deal with it.
But let me tell you, like everything else, this will also pass. It may take time, but it will pass.
There are a few things that we can do to tackle them:
Accept how you feel. Don’t deny or brush it off under the rug, saying it never happened. Everything happens for us to teach us something. The constant denial in different scenarios is only going to prevent you from learning how to let go of things gracefully.
Dwell on the reason this has happened to you. Were you feeling a certain lack, and hence it has happened to you? Someone could have just made you feel more lack of it or could have tended to the lack and then disappeared, making you feel worse.
No matter how wrong the reason is, it is part of you, and accept it. It has stemmed within you. Don’t go out publicizing about it and talking to everyone about it. A lot of people do not share it because of guilt also or what people think about them. It is okay, internalize it. Your intuition is your best guide.
And, remember it is going to pass if you accept it and not dwell on it too much. This thought is critical; it helps you keep afloat and shows you hope. Yes, it has happened, you have dwelled on it, accepted it but now what?
If you are an overthinker like me, I will tell you what I do!
Tormented with guilt, I asked for guidance. I prayed and surrendered once I exhausted myself with guilt and asked, “Show me the way to deal with this guilt.”
As I woke up the next day, the first thought that came to my mind was to ask for forgiveness. Yes, it is not your mistake but yet it has happened to you. The idea is to bring the higher power into the mix.
Every time you experience an unwanted thought, speak a prayer to the higher power or any power that you believe in.
What did I say? “Please forgive me for all the unwanted thoughts and all the mistakes I have made so far. I am just your child seeking forgiveness.”
Just like how your parent cannot deny you forgiveness, the higher power cannot deny you forgiveness.
You can create your prayer and seek forgiveness. All you have to do is say this prayer over and over again whenever that thought comes back haunting you.
Gradually your dependence on the thought will reduce. The more and more you mix the higher power into it, the more you will come to terms with the guilt.
That guilt will stop having power over you, and it will become easier for you to let it go and pass.
Bonus: As I started speaking this prayer, you might have noticed I had added ‘mistake’ also in the prayer. It just helped me lose control over the guilt over the other mistakes I have made. Isn’t this beautiful!
How one prayer can set you free from all the guilt and burden.
After experiencing this for the first time in my life, I have learned the new meaning of surrender and how surrendering not only during a certain time but all the time can change your life.
It helps you quickly move on and helps you focus on your present with a renewed sense of energy and takes you to new heights.